Today is the first day of my 34th year as I turned 33 yesterday at 11:57pm with only 3 minutes left in the day. I feel deep down that this will be a good year! It has to be. I have had a few really good years but somehow my gut tells me that this will be the best one. My favorite and lucky number has been 3 since I can remember. We live in the 3rd house my husband of 3 1/2 years and I have owned together. I just moved to the 3rd city I have ever lived in and we have been here for about 3 1/2 months. I have 3 beautiful children. Ada who is 3. Delia who is 13 months. And Benjamin, who is my 13 year old step-son. I am sure there are more coincidental 3's I could come up with but I think you get the point. It just has to be a really good year.
I used to write. I mean I really used to write. I journaled, wrote poetry, and I have an English minor in creative writing. As many busy moms do, I have lost track of many of my passions and writing happens to be one of the those. It is not that I set out to live for my kids and only for my kids but there are many days where I climb in bed and realize that is exactly what just happened. I get up to one of the girls crying for me. I lovingly snuggle with whoever it is and enjoy every single moment of a new, soft cheek touching my cheek or the warmth of a small head nuzzled in my armpit. I play, I feed, I bathe, I dress, I pack backpacks, I wipe bottoms, I wipe snot, I change diapers, I fill sippy-cups... for the girls and this is all usually before 8am! And the day goes on and my plans are no longer my plans but plans that I have usually made for Ada or Delia. Ada has school 3 times a week and then on the other 2 days there are usually play dates planned. Last week when I missed both my dental appointment and my appointment with my psychologist but made every park date, lunch date, kids book library due date, and pick up time, I realized....I need to get back to me.
So here I am loving motherhood but trying to regain my individuality. I want to rest my head on my pillow and feel proud of what I did for my family and for myself. I know I have a purpose here and I think I just realized one of the true purposes last week. I am not quite ready to blog about that yet but maybe someday. I just have to let my thoughts flow and not worry so much about why I haven't written lately and focus on the fact that this is what makes me me. And it always has! I still have folders and folders of writing in the stacks of boxes in our garage from over 20 years ago! So this blog may be unedited due to time constraints and my new found lack of caring what the hell other people think. But enjoy if you wish and know I am definitely enjoying myself.
I love you 33!
